When bride-to-be and copywriter Asheda Weekes noticed a lack of services dedicated to helping write one of the most impactful speeches someone could ever make in their lifetime –  wedding vows – she decided to put her own writing skills to good use and launched a wedding vow consultancy in Melbourne.

I Do Club brainstorms, workshops, edits and helps write wedding vows for couples who might need a hand in getting exactly how they feel down on paper. We had a chinwag with Asheda to find out how I Do Club came to be and what she’s learnt about the wedding industry.

Hiya Asheda! Tell us about your role at I Do Club. I help people articulate their feelings and piece together what they want to say when they tie the knot. My services give them the option of me writing, editing or consulting. No matter which option they pick, it's always a collaborative process. I describe my writing style as evocative, emotive and enigmatic, but my superpower is adopting someone else's voice – and that's what you want in a vow writer! I also project-manage at a creative copywriting agency which is a joy – I love being around words!

When did you discover a passion for poetry and the written word? Ever since I was a little girl, I have been a bit of a bookworm. I loved writing fantasy fiction during English classes and I even did extra-curricular activities on weekends just to create stories. My tween years led me to poetry – I moved an ocean away to Singapore and, in tandem, was immersed in indie, folk and emo music. Navigating puberty and making new friends in a foreign country led to this fixation on connection and the human condition, which is a bit heavy for a 12-year-old (I've always been told I'm an old soul). I used poetry to help articulate my feelings and thoughts, as they felt bigger – almost grandiose – than what could be simply said. I guess I found a passion for it as it became a tool to interpret myself and my surroundings, and self-soothe. What inspired you to start I Do Club? It slowly built from a culmination of planning my own wedding, copywriting for wedding suppliers, watching romcoms with awkward vow scenes, missing my past role of interviewing people for magazine articles, and wanting to nurture my poetic style of writing. It all kind of clicked. 

Vow writing allows me to approach it with the strategy of copywriting and a poetic style (even if the vows I write aren't in that romantic nature). I also get to interview people and hear love stories along the way. I think what got me excited most was knowing I could help people piece together what they wanted to say. 

What are the biggest struggles people have with writing their own vows? The three most common struggles people come to me with are knowing where to start, knowing what to include and knowing how to describe how they feel.

What is your best advice for writing vows? Start early and talk to your partner about it. Leaving vows to the last weeks or even days before the wedding will leave you feeling stressed and rushed. They also don't need to be a complete secret to your partner – I think the best vows stem from when couples have had that conversation about what they'd like to focus on because the vows represent their promise to one another and their future together. How do you get out of your own writing block? I call it an ‘everything list’. I write down everything I'm thinking in a 'sprint' on lined paper with a good black pen. Whether it's drafting vows, copywriting, or poetry, if I'm feeling stuck, I always do this first. This list doesn't just include the task at hand – it is a full stream-of-consciousness: clean the kitchen, pick up oat milk, call a client at 10 am, reply to mum, seaside picnics, book dinner, plan Morocco, send out your wedding invites. Try it, you'll feel better! 

Nowadays, there is such a pressure for couples to have the biggest and best wedding ever. What issues do you run into when trying to help your clients with their big day? Perfection. As a Type-A perfectionist myself, I know it's easy to fall into the idea that everything has to go right. Of course, I'm only one piece of the puzzle. There is a village helping couples on their big day, which is amazing, but I hope to make that one piece easier! When it comes to vows, I think it's confidence in saying the words out loud — and perhaps in front of people. That's why I'm all about preparedness so you can stay grounded when you finally exchange vows. How would you describe the current wedding industry in Australia? I'm a bit of a baby to the industry so I'm still navigating it myself, but it's huge. I think what's really wonderful about it is that there are suppliers that cater to every kind of couple and wedding – people just want to have fun and have a party. Also, what I've always adored about the industry is that suppliers are huge cheerleaders for one another, even if they're in the same category. It's so interconnected and supportive, and I think it makes people feel really comfortable when they're working with that team in the leadup to their big day. 

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